The Life List of

Lauren Smith

  • Create my own theory of creationism and get everyone to follow it
  • Become a ninja!! Key !!
  • Meet the backstreet boys
  • Host a reality tv show
  • Discover what is truly at the end of a rainbow
  • Write the next best seller about eating chocolate to lose weight and laugh if people actually follow it
  • Send a birthday card to the oldest man (woman?) alive
  • Beat up Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh for making L.O.T.R. into a movie
  • Finally receive my letter from Hogwarts!!
  • Build a time machine, go back in time and go to Woodstock
  • Get Congress to declare an official day in honor of Ninja Turtles
  • Meet a Pirate! Arrr!
  • Figure out how to fly
  • Drink sex on the beach, get completely drunk and then have sex on the beach
  • Go bungee jumping off a bridge
  • Become a champion yo-yoer
  • Cure cancer!!!
  • Train a polar bear to be my friend
  • Try on the Pope’s hat
  • Take a ride on the polar express
  • Fill up my autograph book with signatures from every character at Disney
  • Convince an entire room of people to spend a night “vere ve vill all talk like zees”
  • Brew my own beer
  • Sail to Tahiti with Seth Cohen
  • Hold up a convenience store just for fun
  • Join the mile high club
  • Hook up with someone in every state
  • Do a sweet barrel on a sicky-gnar-gnar (?)
  • Sucker punch Osama bin Laden
  • Start a bar fight yet come out unscathed
  • Discover life on mars
  • Outdo Ghandi in my discoveries of self actualization and the meanings of life
  • Prove that god does not exist
  • Try every single food in the world
  • Write my own language and get people to speak it
  • Dig a hole to China
  • Get caught up in the Bermuda Triangle
  • Skydive
  • Drive a fast car get-away style
  • Save a life
  • Stage dive and do that thing where they carry you around
  • Send a message in a bottle
  • Walk along the great wall of china
  • Drive a car at 120 mph on the wrong side of the road
  • Spend 24 hrs blind folded
  • Set off the fire alarm in a thirty story building
  • Ride a hot air balloon
  • Get into a conversation with a telemarketer so long and so drawn out that in the end, they hang up first
  • Send fifty pizzas to someone I really do not like
  • Be a guest on Oprah – then the world will know my name
  • Be the presenter at the academy awards
  • Have a prolonged conversation with a beggar
  • Give 1,000 dollars to someone who needs it more than I do
  • Fully experience Christmas in NY
  • Do ten pull ups
  • Dance on the top of the empire state building
  • Drop a paper airplane with a note from the top of an NYC skyscraper and see if anyone responds
  • Dye my hair a different color
  • Spend a month in Europe with little money and no agenda
  • Drive coast to coast of the US with a friend and without a map
  • Roll down ayer’s rock (both painful and dirty)
  • Throw the opening day pitch at Yankee Stadium
  • See the whole entire world – everything there is to see
  • Then . . . become Dictator of it all.  Except France.  That will be bombed.