Over the past year, social media has been awash with stories of people whose behaviours have been dubbed learned helplessness. Examples have included people in financial debt, spouses who do not help out in the house, and teenagers who have relied on their parents a tad too much. And, as with social media trends, people tend to use psychological terms to explain others’ actions without fully understanding the nuances involved in clinical diagnoses. For instance, ever since people came to learn about narcissism, it has become quite common for people to label each other as narcissists just because they do not like each other’s behaviours.
The same generalisation is evident in learned helplessness, and many people have found themselves on the receiving end of such labels without truly knowing whether they deserve to be cast in that light. After all, where is the line between actually needing help and having learned helplessness?
We get into what learned helplessness actually is, what causes it, and how you can break free of this pattern.
What Is Learned Helplessness?
Decision-making in our daily lives follows a set process. We identify the problem, think of possible solutions, and implement the best one. Think of it in regard to how operations take place in airlines. If an airline realises that one of its planes needs an engine overhaul, its management team works directly with organisations like Magnetic Engines (https://magneticengines.co/) who can provide the necessary services. And just like that, a crisis is averted.
But people suffering from learned helplessness are not as swift with their actions. If anything, they tend to believe that they have no control over their situations such that even when solutions to their problems are available, they do not take advantage of them. For example, someone may work in a very toxic environment, but even when they come across job openings that meet their requirements, they do not apply and instead remain wallowing in their current job.
So, why would someone choose to remain helpless? Well, according to the psychologists behind this term, Martin Seligman and Steven F. Maier, learned helplessness is not about choice. Instead, it arises from various psychological factors. These include the following:
- Repeated exposure to traumatic experiences;
- Negative internal beliefs;
- Growing up in volatile or unstable homes;
- Being subject to systemic stressors such as poverty.
All of these factors can contribute to a mental state in which the affected person feels that their actions do not matter and thus cannot influence outcomes, whether positive or negative. As such, you find that such a person exhibits passive behaviour, struggles to make decisions others would consider to be simple choices, and comes off as emotionally exhausted.
Can You Unlearn It?
Learned helplessness can feel quite frustrating, not just to you but also to the people affected by your actions. Luckily, it is not a pattern set in stone, and you do have the power to take control of situations by embarking on the following approaches:
- Learn how to be a realistic optimist by identifying and restructuring your negative thought patterns. For example, instead of thinking you are bad at something, think of it as a learning process;
- Set small goals. Many people with learned helplessness struggle with big projects, and this leads to procrastination. Set yourself up for success by choosing small, manageable goals rather than focusing on the end results;
- Be more compassionate with yourself. With learned helplessness, you may find that you are quick to criticise your actions, which further undermines your confidence. If you encounter challenges along the way, see them as temporary rather than definitive obstacles.
It is also important to seek professional support from registered mental health professionals who can take you through therapies that can help you understand the factors behind your learned helplessness. Through this external help, as well as by adopting the practical habits discussed, you will find that you can trust yourself more when making decisions about your life.